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January 17 2012
Pride, logic, guilt, and damn, I need a cookie.
I am, for the most part, exceptionally good at my job. In 2011 we did such good work at the Pub that I more than doubled expected earnings. (Alternately, this could indicate that I am far too conservative at budgeting, but I'm willing to take the win here).
But recently I made a mistake.
A fairly big one.
And damn am I beating myself up over it.
I can look at the numbers, come up with exactly how much this mistake costs the company (about 2% of the extra money made this year) and fully recognize that it is a tiny amount of money to screw up over. I can remind myself that I have made 100 right choices to this one mistake. Nobody was hurt from this mistake. Nobody lost their job over it, either. I can logic my way to a place where I should be clear of guilt. But I don't actually feel relieved of said guilt. Instead, I feel it so deeply I have considered locking the door to my office and crying over this error.
Why do we do this to ourselves? What part of human nature does it serve? I know that I shouldn't strive to dismiss error without introspection, but why does that have to lead to feelings of failure, especially when logic shows me it's not as bad as I feel?
Ultimately, I suspect this is about pride. This mistake hurt mine. I don't like being wrong and when my wrong is not something I can cover up or shift, it's so freaking painful I want to hide. But it's pride. And while I know it is one of the deadly sins (some say the worst of them), I have no idea how to turn it on it's ear and allow myself to simply be wrong without all the damn feelings associated with that wrong.
So dear people who live in my computer, tell me how to stop being upset with myself. Don't logic me, I already have that down and it's not helping. I need something else. I just don't know what it is.
January 10 2012
Anya was having such a blast with the help she was getting from Lily & her friend
December 27 2011
Can anyone find Anya on the ice skating rink behind me? Hint: she's totally into Laura Ingalls at the moment...
December 26 2011
Found on the bulletin board at work.
December 25 2011
The girls have become incredibly organized in their present unwrapping, thus the room looks pretty tame considering two little people just ripped through Christmas morning presents. Also, we have a brand new rug, which makes me super happy. Plywood floors are only cool for so long.
P.S. Click here for a shot from September showing a similar angle and the start of the carpet-ripping-up-extravaganza.
P.P.S. Anyone remember two years ago when I used a similar shot for my 7 days photo? You can see that one here.
A stolen moment with my Mister, before we Santa-fy the stockings and head to bed.
December 23 2011
While out looking for stocking stuffers for the pets and seeing if they had feed for the chickens (the big joke is that they are frequently out of feed and it will always be coming in, "Next Friday"), I found some fun with the white mice. The guy working there made some comment about rowing guinea pigs, for which I had no frame of reference (but laughed anyway). Of course, YouTube to the rescue. Here's what he was talking about: Geico Guinea Pigs Electricity Rowing Commercial.
December 22 2011
We're trying on the name Bailey. So far, it seems to fit.
Maybe Soup is currently being updated? I'll try again automatically in a few seconds...


















